EP 146 Starting off with a fun story, I share some thoughts that arose at an Elder Retreat I attended this past weekend.
This is Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter and you are listening to “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” Episode 146. I like to spend some time weekly at a minimum talking with you about some aspect of life, the universe, everything.
SEGMENT 1. Let me just start off with a quick story that I heard this weekend. I thought I thought it was delightful, and it’s a teaching, okay?
A man is walking along the edge of a high cliff and he sees a clown there with a wheelbarrow (Like this happens all the time right? Clown with a wheelbarrow). There’s a tight rope that goes across to the other side to another cliff. The man walks over to the clown goes, “What are you doing?”
“I’m practicing walking across with my wheelbarrow.”
“Yeah, I’ve done it three times, so far.”
“Really? That’s incredible.”
“Do you think I can get across,” the clown asks.
“Do you really think I can get across?”
“Yeah, I think you can do it.”
“Really, do you think I can get across?”
The clown finishes up by saying, “Great. Get in.”
SEGMENT 2. I was listening to two interviews today. One was a repeat of an interview with Michelle Obama on Conan O’Brien’s podcast. The other one was an interview with Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon. Both of them in one way or another spoke about how events sometimes happen and how you deal with them is important.
In the case of Michelle Obama, she spoke about how difficult it was living in the White House, and not complaining in any way whatsoever. But you make choices not to air out your feelings or your dirty laundry in public. You choose to tough it out in some ways. And now that she’s out of office, now that her husband is out of office, they feel a little freer to talk about things and be a little bit more public with their challenges. Again, that was part of the book that she released.
In the case of Maddon, he spoke about how his pitcher had done really well during the game and there was one play that turned the tide. It was a play where the center fielder almost caught a ball, went off his glove and it turned the tide in the in the game. Maddon says something to the effect of (I didn’t jot down the quote at the time), something to the effect of, “you know, you don’t cry over these things. You lose a game. You come back the next day. You play hard, you try and win.”
Both of them in one way or another spoke about the importance of being resilient and coming back. And I’m reminded of a phrase.
That’s what men do. That’s what women do.
After all, in our culture, we deal with train wrecks. We hear about them, they get a phenomenal amount of attention. They are awful to watch, to view to listen to. Horrible episodes get our attention, but incredible women who are deal with hard circumstances, incredible men who are in situations where they quietly bounced back for another day, they get no attention.
So, I want to remind you, if you’re in a situation like that, and you do do something well, perhaps you might just remind yourself of the importance of self-praise and self-blessing.
“That’s what women do.”
“That’s what men do.”
Give yourself that kindness and reminder from time to time.
SEGMENT 3. I spent the weekend with some friends and what could best be called an elder retreat for men. I want to be clear, not elderly, Elder men who reflect the wisdom and the care that we want from our elders, both men and women.
At one point we were asked the question, what does the world need from Elders? And I remember sitting there at the time and jotting down a few things. I had borrowed them from a man named Lance Secretan. And this idea has really stuck with me.
Courage. Authenticity. Service. Truthfulness. Love. Effectiveness. I added to that, “willingness.”
Folks, so much of life begins with courage. So often, we’re in situations where it’s easy to take shortcuts. It’s easy to do things with half effort, and do things that don’t really matter to us in ways that reflect that. They don’t really matter to us.
If you’re going to do something, do it all out, or don’t do it at all. But remember, it all starts with courage to know the difference.
SEGMENT 4. So, what’s next for you? After all, you’re not dead yet. Maybe, you’re busting your butt trying to make things happen (Notice, I kind of paused there and made sure I used the clean word, not the bad word). If you follow politics, is there a way that you can take it down a notch so you don’t have to be in fights all the time.
A friend of mine this weekend said something that I thought . . . I laughed at it very heavily.
I NEED PATIENCE AND I NEED IT NOW!
But I want to remind you of something. You’re going to leave a legacy . . . if you’re lucky. What do you want that legacy to be? That you fought? That you hurt others? That you were wrong?
What’s the legacy you want to leave behind and how can you behave to reflect it, knowing that you’re not going to be perfect that you’re going to make mistakes, but that, in your mind, this is who you want to be? After all, I’m going to repeat a phrase from an earlier segment, This is what women do. This is what men do.
They think of what their impact is. They don’t act out like petulant children. It matters to them, that they are connected with others. It matters to them how they’re seen, not because they care, per se, but they want to be in right relationship with others.
Really, don’t you care? Doesn’t it matter?
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” and “No BS Job Search Advice.”
Are you interested in my coaching you? Connect with me on LinkedIn and, once we are connected, message me. If you have questions for me, call me through the Magnifi app for iOS (video) https://thebiggamehunter.us/magnifi or PrestoExperts.com (phone)
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