No B.S. Coaching Advice

Reacting as an intense person

Reacting As an Intense Person |

By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

I am intense and fo

I can be very intense and focused. If you are like me, there are times you want to rip someone’s head off. There is another way



I’m Jeff Altman, a career and leadership coach. And I’m the head coach for two sites,, and Reacting. I’m an intense individual. And if you’re intense, and someone says something to you the wrong way, if you’re like me, there are times in my life where I have snapped and want to bite someone’s head off. If that’s you, if that’s your tendency, that’s referred to as reactive.  No thought goes in. It’s completely instinctual.

I know, at times, I’ve had like a blind fury at people, where I just want to lash out, rip them a new asshole, and move on because something that they said, triggered something in me that I went ballistic over.

What I’ve learned to do over the course of time, is really very simple. Like, for example, when the phone rings like that, and I know it’s a robo call, I just want to, I want to lash out and bite someone’s head off for the interruptions that occur because it’s painful. You know, we’re all getting assaulted with this kind of stuff, and no one’s doing anything about it yet. But what I’m learning to do, and maybe this is helpful to you, is instead of reacting, responding, like when I was doing this video, I was tempted to interrupt it, stop it. And re-record . . . and then realize that maybe that was just another one of those damn robo calls. And with that, learning to respond, rather than to react.

You may have seen my face change, as I was thinking of cutting off the call, and practicing just that brief hesitation, to see what’s going on, has been a great lesson for me. And perhaps it can be for you. It doesn’t mean I don’t get angry internally. But I’ve also shifted off of that the more I’ve been talking to you. Maybe you can practice that too.

Because for those of us who are intense, who are determined, who work hard to persevere, who work hard, it’s hard to deal with some of the vagaries of life like that. It just ticks me off and it may tick you off too.

So I hope that reminder about responding rather than reacting is helpful to you. If you’d like to get some support with doing that, sometimes that’s what comes into my leadership coaching is helping people not be quite as reactive to situations as they have been and through that learning to be a more effective leader.

If you’re interested in my coaching you, connect with me on Linkedin at Once we’re connected, message me that you’re interested in coaching. We’ll set up time for a free discovery call. And lastly, I’ve got a lot of stuff at Go over to the site; go exploring. There’s probably something helpful there for you. And I hope to have the opportunity to speak with you. Have a great day. Take care.

Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2019, 2021


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 2000 episodes. He also hosts Job Search TV on YouTube, Amazon and Roku, as well as on for Apple TV and 90+ smartsets.

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